A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.
The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue.
‘Well’, he said, ‘It’s what mommy calls me sometimes’.
The little girl screams to her brother,’Don’t eat it, it’s an asshole!’
Latest Entries »
A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa.
When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into
her Grandpa’s room….
“Grandpa, Grandpa,” she says excitedly, “As soon as Grandma comes into the
room, make a noise like a frog!”
“What?” said her Grandpa.
“Make a noise like a frog – because Grandma said that as soon as you croak,
we’re all going to Disneyland !
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl ‘Will you marry me?’ The girl said, ‘NO!’ And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted. The end
Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at a time
Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa, and vice-versa.
Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
When someone says “Have a nice day”, tell them you have other plans.
Make a list of things to do that you have already done.
Dance naked in front of your pets.
Put your toddler’s clothes on backwards and send him to pre-school as if nothing is wrong.
Fill out your tax form using Roman Numerals.
Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.
Leaf through “National Geographic” and draw underwear on the natives.
Tattoo “Out to Lunch” on your forehead.
Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
Buy a subscription to “Sleazoid Weekly” and send it to your boss’s husband/wife.
Pay your electric bill in pennies.
Drive to work in reverse.
Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
Tell your boss to “blow it out your mule”, and let him figure it out.
Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg.
Polish your car with earwax.
Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
Braid the hairs in each nostril
Write a short story using alphabet soup.
Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they’re in jail.
Make a language up and ask people for directions in it.
Replace the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and put it back in the wrapper.